30 Lessons I learnt spending 3 months in Ibiza

1.       The island is bigger than I thought. When you start travelling to different parts of the island it will take you a lot longer than you think. It’s a big island and the remote beaches are better than the more popular well-known ones. The beaches you have to drive to are almost always cleaner and cooler.

2.       Don’t leave your belongings unattended.  If you leave your things for a very long time you are playing with fire. Chances are your things will get stolen. On the main beaches, a lot of people got their phones, IDs and passports stolen, sometimes when they were sun baking right next to their belongings. Try your best to go to the beach with as few valuable items as possible. A social media post isn’t worth the worry of leaving your phone unattended when you’re in the water. Save it for another day. These thieves are very quiet and sneaky.

3.       Everyone is out here just trying to have a good time. Everyone is just trying to live their best life. Most people are super cheerful and full of energy to be in the party capital of the world. There are a few energy vampires around (take the good with the bad). But more or less there is a unique energy on the island that can’t be replicated anywhere else.

4.       No one cares. If you’re self-conscious about how you dance, how you look, how you’re dressed, I guarantee the person next to you is thinking the same things about themselves. Everyone is too concerned about themselves to think about you. And that’s freeing. Party till the sun goes down, party till the sun comes up. No one is watching you. Be your crazy authentic self.

5.       Have a backup pair of sunglasses. It’s super bright in Ibiza. And chances are you may lose your glasses or they’ll get stolen. Bring a backup pair of sunnies. There’s nothing worse than having to squint when you’re outside. Take care of your eyes. Doesn’t matter if they’re cheap and from a convenience store. 

6.       People are nice. 99% of the people you meet are friendly and nice. They're here to have the time of their lives same as you. They’re gassed. But go first when it comes to approaching and starting a conversation. I tell myself this all the time. “Always go first.” People get shy. Break the ice. Very important advice if you’re working in sales.

7.       Rent a scooter or car. Renting a scooter is probably a better option. The traffic can get long with a car. With a scooter, you can weave through the traffic up to the front and there are a lot more parking spaces available.

8.       Locals are not around during the season. I didn’t see many locals. Only in the shopping centre. Probably because they’re annoyed at all the crazy people here to party. If this happens to you, kindly remind them that you’re the reason you keep their economy going and go about your day.

9.       Everyone is out to hustle and make money. There are two types of people in Ibiza. One is spending loads of money; two is trying to make loads of money. The money makers will do everything in their power to make as much money as possible. There are a lot of dodgy people and businesses. Remember a lot of people who come here to make money come from third-world countries. They’re desperate, you have to empathize but always stay on guard. Some money spenders will spend more than they have to appear rich and successful. Wearing the fake version of designer brands and fake jewelry. You can see right through it all.

10.   Make sure you have a great holiday rep. A holiday rep can make or break your trip. Make sure you get one who has done more than one season on the island. That way you know they’ve been there before, partied at the parties you want to go to and know where to avoid. If they’re quick with their replies if you have any questions. That’s a good sign. Consult an experienced holiday rep.

11.   Always tip. Most of the hospitality staff are getting paid 9 euros an hour. I know, peanuts. Leave a tip, don’t be cheap. It can make someone’s day. They're busting their ass in that heat to make sure you’re taken care of. Trust me it’ll feel good to help someone out. Tip. Just not in nightclubs.

12.   Undercover police. It’s hard to spot but know that there are cops in normal clothes. They’re waiting for you to buy illegal goodies from a dealer and then they will wait to pounce and then you’re toast. Police there are very strict and they won’t get you off the hook for any reason. Anything they think they can pin you for, they will.

13.   Go on a boat party/trip. I was working in a sales team and we had a team bonding day after work where we went on a catamaran and speed boat. It was incredible! We went into a cave; paddle boarded and did swimming in beautiful blue water. If you get seasick go to the pharmacy and buy some seasick tablets, they’re cheap. Going out on the water and looking back at the island is an amazing view.

14.   See the sunset as many times as you can. A beautiful island in Spain, with warm weather, crystal clear blue water, beach clubs, Café Mambo and the world’s best sunset. Is this a high-budget movie? No this is real. It feels majestic, but I’d say it’s sublime.

15.   Never buy drinks from the club. Buying from the club is just downright stupid. The club's prices are criminal. A bottle of water was 12 euros. Standard mixers were around 20 euros and if you wanted red bull as a mixer that’s closer to 30 euros… for one drink. Some people pay for that. Some people buy a round for their friends. Holiday money is gone with a tab of a card.

16.   Always pre-game before going out to a party. Buy alcohol from the supermarket. More variety and much much cheaper. Drink as much as you can (without getting blacked out drunk) so you’re in a good enough state for that feeling to last the whole night and don’t have to spend money in the club.

17.   Have one person in the group that is responsible and sober. This is a must. It’s not good when everyone is completely wasted or drugged up and no one can put two feet in front of each other. Have someone who is not going to get as crazy as the rest of the group for safety. It’s easy for someone to get lost and end up with the wrong people or worse. And when you can’t take care of yourself because you’re so wasted. Who knows what can happen? Some nasty people come to this island. And they take advantage of anyone they can, they’re out for themselves. Prepare for everything. Have at least one looking out for the whole group.

18.   Watch your spending. It’s very easy to spend spend spend and forget about your bank account. Breakfast here, a few cocktails there, some taxi rides later and suddenly you realized you spend 90% of your holiday budget in the first few days. I spoke to a lot of people that looked like there were walking off a hangover, but it was the guilt and shame of spending so much the night before. Some people had to go home early because they ran out of $$$.

19.   It’s another world. This is my favourite part of travelling; it feels like you’re on another planet. A different environment, different people, different languages, a different way of living. Travelling is the best education you can give yourself. Soak it all up.

20.   It’s so green. Going on road trips you’ll notice there is a lot of forestation. Get out into nature!

21.   Beware of the oil. If you eat a lot of oily food (English breakfast), you’re going to have a rough digestive experience.  I had diarrhea for three days. I thought I had food poisoning. I then later discovered it was all the oil-cooked foods I was eating that upset my stomach longer than usual. Spanish cooking oils have been under suspicion for years.

22.   Sleep. Try your best to get some decent sleep. Mainly macho men come here saying they're going on a 5-day bender and after the first sleepless night they’re crawling back to their beds and finished before the real party has started. Don’t go too hard too early. Rest up.

23.   There are drugs everywhere. You’ll get offered everything under the sun. People will ask if you “need anything.” Just keep walking and they’ll leave you alone. Just when you’re out for a walk be prepared to be asked by a lot of people if you want something to make the night crazier.

24.   Don’t drink the tap water!!! Unless you’ve rented out the best villa for your stay. Don’t drink tap water. Most tap water in Ibiza has no water filter = a lot of unknown bacteria that will make you sick. Make sure you stock up on water jugs and bottles. The best water on the island is Font Vella.

25.   Taxis will hustle you as well. Getting home from the club at 4-5 am is being prepared to pay 2x the price for the fair. Unless you want to wait for the bus which I highly doubt it. Authors NOTE: Never take a ‘private’ taxi. This is just a random dude willing to take you anywhere in his car for 3x the price and if you get pulled over by the police you’re both in serious trouble. 

26.   The bus takes forever. Buses were not bad in my experience if you were at the bus station. But after a night out sometime they were 30-45 minutes late. The taxi saves you time but costs you a lot more. But you can always make back the money you can’t get back the time. Use the bus for the day, a taxi for the night.

27.   You get used to the island. About three weeks into living there you get used to the craziness like anything else. It becomes a normal part of everyday life. That high you were feeling will eventually come back down. Make sure to explore as many different areas as you can to refresh how amazing the island is. 

28.   The island is smaller than I thought. Don’t talk shit about anyone behind their back, ever! Everyone knows everyone and then some more. News travels faster than the speed of light in Ibiza. Keep your mouth shut and your head down and you’ll be golden. Letting off some emotions is not worth making an enemy, especially if you’re a newbie to the island and if you want to come back in the future.

29.   Put down a deposit before you go. The island is so popular some people book their trip for the following year a year in advance. Put a deposit or reservation down for anything as soon as possible. It’ll save you the unnecessary stress of last-minute running around and planning. Nothing good was ever rushed. The sooner you do it the sooner you’ll get a place you like for a good price as well.

30.   Do it at least once in your lifetime. Ibiza is one of the most amazing places in the world. It’s been around longer than people think. It’s no wonder everyone from around the world comes to the island for a holiday. The best events, DJs, boat parties, celebrities, beach clubs, sunsets and many more things are on offer. A full season in Ibiza is around 5-6 months. If you’re between the ages of 18-30 I highly highly recommend doing a full season at least once in your life. The relationships you will build are priceless. The experiences you will experience will make you grow. You’ll discover more about yourself and what the world has to offer. I already know I have a lot of life-long friendships in the works. And you will too if you decide to do this.

We all have one life. Go to Ibiza! Experience it! If you don’t like it, then now you know. It wasn’t wasted time. Travel, grow, explore

Until next time,

Brody